Wheels in Motion Once More

In my mind, there’s nothing like a good road trip.

I had the joy of riding shotgun with my friend, Mary, on a trip to Sarasota, Florida, last week, and honestly, I’d be hard put to tell you when I’ve had a better time! Part of it was that although we had an eventual destination, we had no schedule to keep… just a determination to stop and investigate anything that struck our fancy. We were on the hunt for joy, and we found it in abundance.

Perhaps I needed the reminder to start every day with the same excitement I felt when Mary pulled up to my door. I had two travel cups of hot coffee in my hands as I got into her beautiful new vehicle, and we took off, already laughing at something silly, said or done.

How can I not start each day the same way – hot coffee with my Best Friend, laughing and talking about the day ahead as we get ready to pull out of my spiritual driveway and embrace the day’s “travel”?! For that’s what life is…one new day linked to another on our road trip to our Final Destination, accomplishing whatever God has planned for us in each one, and finding joy along the way. We never know when the road will end, so it’s imperative that we maximize each moment that we have.

Road travel doesn’t always go smoothly, however. Sometimes our vehicle breaks down and requires some time in a mechanic’s garage or body shop for repairs. Events in other people’s lives may call us to suddenly take an unexpected exit off the road we were traveling, and it takes some time to realize that it’s not a detour but an actual change in direction for a purpose perhaps known only to God And sometimes the road is simply blocked and we have no choice but to stop and rest until it opens up again.

Perhaps most devastating is the loss of one’s travel companion, your “ride or die”… your best friend… your spouse. For a time it may seem that the joy you found in life on the road is over. Life for you will never be the same again, and you feel resigned to shuffling  through mental postcards of past adventures, no longer dreaming of new ones. Some simply park their roadster at that point, and wait for it to rust and decay away, merely crossing days off the calendar instead of filling them with life and joy.

Can I suggest that God doesn’t intend for you to live that way? Oh, He may let you sit in the garage awhile and get your bearings again. But there’s a reason cars come with multiple doors and seats… and it’s because people come and go in our lives continually. They travel along with us for a time, different ones climbing aboard at certain spots and others taking their leave and heading off to their own destinations. The point is to enjoy our time traveling together for the time they are with us, giving them a lift in whatever ways we can, till it’s time for them to head off on their own adventures. Much as we’d like to, we can’t simply lock them in forever. Instead, we stop to let them off, wish them well, and give thanks for the time we spent together.

Perhaps you feel that your husband was the driver, the one whose foot on the gas pedal made your life together run, and that your vehicle must sit idle in his absence. But again, God doesn’t see it that way. When you are ready, He wants to slip behind the wheel Himself and help you navigate the road of life again…seeing new sights, going new places, experiencing the joy of living and looking ahead with excitement and expectation once more.

I love the fact that God loves us enough to know when we need to stop and be cared for a bit. If you’re in this resting, restoring and renewing phase, think of yourself loved like the  prophet Elijah, whom God led to take a nap by the brook Cherith while He had angels deliver bread and water to him morning and night until he was strengthened and encouraged enough to go on. Just because your angels are wingless and look a lot like your neighbors and friends doesn’t mean God loves you any less! While you are patiently trusting Him to work out the details, may you stay busy proclaiming His goodness to a watching world… and before you know it, you’ll be pulling out of that rest stop and entering the freeway of life once more.

“Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.” (Proverbs 3:5-6 KJV)

(photo credit: Unsplash/DinoReichmuth)

 

Handrail of Hope

I was young, pregnant with my first child, and excited about entering this next stage of my life’s journey. My husband and I had recently moved into a new house and were working on putting the final touches on the place we were now so excited to call home. My mother shoved my husband’s to-do list aside and told her son-in-law in no uncertain terms that his absolute first task was to install a handrail for the basement stairs, a necessity the builder had left undone. She was not about to risk the health of her daughter nor that of the precious grandchild she was carrying by that neglect or oversight. Jim did as he was bid.

Decades passed, and with the passing of my husband, I found myself once again entering a new stage of my life’s journey. This time it was my heavenly Father rather than my earthly mother Who insisted on the construction of a “handrail of hope”  to hold on to as I took my first tentative steps across the bridge from my old life to the new.

The handrail to my basement stairs is supported by a multitude of posts that together bear the weight of the rail I hold on to. What support posts did I need to rely on now as I moved forward?

The first was the emotional support of my family and friends. One of the latter connected with me every few weeks over lunch to make sure I had someone to be with, cry with, and laugh with… to help carry the weight of my sorrow. I realized I needed that social connection to keep my feet moving forward and not be sucked into the quicksand of gloom and despair. I found I needed to be sure to reach out and grab the hands friends held out to me – it was important to stay social.

I needed to look for and accept the practical support of those who offered to help with the multitudes of things that needed to be done, especially in the early days after Jim’s death – a lawyer friend who handled my legal needs for next to nothing, a church contact who referred me to a financial planner, and through him to a tax analyst. Another church friend spread mulch and planted flowers in the yard while a lawn care company took care of the grass cutting. A ministry at my local church would even send helping hands to fix problems my husband would have handled had he still been around.

I was so touched and comforted by the spiritual help of pastors from my past who checked in with me regularly to make sure I was doing ok. And I made a point of church attendance to keep my soul on track… but mostly just to show up and say, “Thanks!” to God on a weekly basis for all the help I’d been given in the previous seven days. Joining a small community group was important for fellowship and accountability purposes.

One by one I added other support posts I found I needed – volunteer activities to give my days purpose and to keep an outward focus. I postponed retirement for a while, knowing I needed the social contacts and scheduled structure of my job. I enjoyed hobbies either alone or with friends, joined gyms to stay healthy and active, tried new things, and took a few trips to see new sights.

The point is that the support you need is available and just needs to be set in place to give you some security to hang on to as you move into this new way of living. Each post is merely an extension of God’s hand as He lovingly reaches for yours and guides you  each step of your way forward into the beauty of all that He has planned.

“So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” (Isaiah 41:10 NIV)

(photo credit: Unsplash/AnnieSpratt)

 

Ice Encased and Frozen in Place

 

Just like that, it was gone. How quickly things around us… and within us… can change.

I left the meeting at church just as the rain was starting to fall. Having heard forecasts of freezing rain in the initial stages of the storm, the other ladies and I were anxious to get safely home before the roads became slick with ice. Luckily they were warm enough that they stayed just wet, but the air temperature dropped to a degree that caused the rain to freeze on everything else the droplets fell on – mailboxes, power lines, fence posts, and tree branches. By the time I reached the safety of my driveway and pulled into my garage, the world around me was suddenly encased in ice.

Perhaps you can relate because you’ve experienced the same. When your spouse died, whether you knew it was coming or not, your world suddenly froze, and all things familiar and dear to you turned cold and hard and unable to bring you the joy they once had as you now looked at them alone. The only thing that seemed able to move were your tears, which repeatedly let loose at a moment’s notice. A personal “winter” settled upon you, one perhaps that others couldn’t walk through with you, although they did their best to wrap you in layers of love and cheer, help and good wishes.

As much as I’m not a fan of freezing rain, I had to admit that the ice covering everything around me was beautiful. The bushes at the forest’s edge, the trees… long frozen drips of frozen water from fence rails, bird feeders… everything covered in translucent white. I tried to photograph the beauty to send to friends in warmer climes, but the pictures didn’t do justice to the crystalized magnificence surrounding me.

The world was still frozen solid when I took the dog out for a quick potty break this morning. Afterwards I grabbed a hot cup of coffee and nestled in amongst the pillows against the headboard of the bed. Soaking in the beauty of the scene outside the window beside me, I knew that soon the temperature would rise enough to melt it all away. And sure enough, before I’d even finished that cup of coffee, I looked out again… and the ice was simply gone! The temperature had risen just enough to release all the frozen droplets and let them fall to the ground. The tree limbs were bare and brown once more.

And so it will be with you. The spring thaw always follows the weight of winter. It may not happen as suddenly as the ice melt outside my window this morning, but it will come. One day you will be surprised to notice that you’re feeling a little better than you were the week before. Laughter might begin as a trickle of joy that suddenly appears in a frozen stream, gradually increasing in size and intensity till it flows fully and freely from your lips once more. You’ll get there.

What’s important is that you notice and memorize the moments of beauty in the winter you are going through – the family that brought not just a pizza dinner to share with you, but their joy, as well. The friend who repeatedly invited you out to lunch to give you a chance to confide and who doesn’t mind the tears that you cry. The pastor who calls or texts to check on you. The coworkers who welcome you back to work with flowers and candy and a warm embrace. And oh, the incredible faithfulness of God, Who showed up time and time again in critical moments of your journey… His nearness a comfort as you read His Word. These are incredible gifts of love that you might not experience in any other life season… and you need to receive and soak in them as they surround you now.

And that is because they are photographs of hope, a cloak of comfort that you will be able to wrap around the shoulders of someone else who finds themselves suddenly encased in sadness and unable to move forward. Your shared experiences might be the warmth that starts the spring thaw in the season they are going through.

I simply stand in awe of a God who collects our tears and uses them to water seeds of life in someone else’s garden… that they might likewise rise and thrive one more.

“You keep track of all my sorrows. You have collected all my tears in your bottle. You have recorded each one in your book.” (Psalm 56:8 NLT)

“He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. When they are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us.” 

(2 Corinthians 1:4 NLT)